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Valid reasons to watch season 14 of The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love

By Dahlia Weinstein on January 11, 2010 · Comment  ·

Season 14 bachelor, 31-year-old pilot Jake Pavelka, wants to prove that nice guys don’t finish last (even though we know they do). Last season on sister-show, The Bachelorette, Jake was heartbroken after he was denied a rose by bachelorette, Jillian. To say he shed some tears is an understatement, but it wasn’t just his good looks and sensitive side that won the hearts of fans. Jake manned-up and flew to see Jillian – after she dumped him – to warn her about the evil agenda of a fellow bachelor vying for her love. (Remember dickhead, Wes?) Fans demanded that Jake be the next bachelor and ABC obliged. The network’s website warns fans:

“Fasten your seatbelts and leave your relationship baggage at the door as this handsome commercial pilot from Dallas prepares to take flight as The Bachelor.”

(The pilot puns on this season’s episodes are endless, so be prepared for a bumpy ride. Get it?)

Top five reasons to watch The Bachelor this season:

1. Puns: This season of The Bachelor will bombard you with so many “pilot” puns, you’ll want to puke. All the gals want to be Captain Jake’s “co-pilot.” This is no “fly-by-night romance.” One of the girls vying for Jake’s affection tells Jake he can “land his plane on her landing strip any time.” (She was bumped from flight on the first episode.) Another potential co-captain, Christina, who received a rose, wanted to know which girls in the group were members of the “Mile High Club.” Of course, the girls looked stunned. Looked is the keyword. These girls are sky-high hookers. Kidding. (Sort of.) Seeing scenes of future cat fights make it clear the girls are not as innocent and naïve as they would like us to believe.

2. Abs: Jake has a smokin’-hot body. There are plenty of drinking games to play while watching him reveal that body on each episode of The Bachelor. My favorite? When you hear the words “rock-hard abs,” take a shot of your favorite liquor. You’ll be lucky if you make it through the show without passing out. Jake’s abdomen is the six-pack star of the show.

3. Boobs: Be prepared for lots and lots and lots of boobs. (Or “big ta-tas,” as so eloquently expressed by one of the gals vying for Jake’s affection). Each season of The Bachelor claims to be “the most shocking season ever.” Seriously, the breasts on the girls this season are truly shocking – and shock-absorbent – as demonstrated while the girls enjoyed a pickup game of football in their ball gowns. (Don’t ask.) I don’t think I’ve seen more silicone ever – and that’s saying a lot.

4. Bitches The season premiere hints that a few of the girls might have ulterior motives for being on the show. I know what you’re thinking “What? No. It can’t be!” Oh, yes. And I’m going to call out the bitches from the 15 girls still standing after the first rose ceremony. (By the way, out of the final 15, I picked 12 correctly. I’ll be competing in a weekly contest at www.abc.com to pick the winners – kind of like the Kentucky Derby of dating. Stay tuned for my weekly picks.)






Bitch No. 1 > is 28-year-old “model/makeup artist” Rozlyn from Richmond, VA. She sleeps with a producer on the show and gets kicked out by Bachelor execs. The rumors are true. One of the contestants falling in love with Jake, accidentally fell into bed with a show producer instead. (See, I told you – hookers!) Which part of being on a reality show where THERE ARE CAMERAS FOLLOWING YOU ALL OF THE TIME do you think Rozlyn didn’t get? Can you say, “Dumbest blonde ever?”





Bitch No. 2 is 23-year-old Corrie from Kissimmee, FL. She was definitely not one of my final 15. I don’t like her, but I have no idea why. Call it a gut instinct. I thought she was the gal who cheats on Jake with a staffer on the show. Apparently, she isn’t, but I can’t wait to see what she does to piss me – I mean, Jake – off.







Bitch No. 3 > is 25-year-old Christina from San Diego, CA. She states in episode one, “I’m a little bitchy,” so there’s that. Plus, she brought little gift bags of jellybeans to the first rose ceremony. Jake thought it was so sweet, until she informed him that they were parting gifts for the girls who got the boot. (Kind of funny, actually.) She has no shot in hell to make it to the end, but she’ll be entertaining while she lasts.





Bitch No. 4 is 23-year-old Vienna from Geneva, Florida. The other girls seem to hate her already. She’s blond with big boobs – possibly real ones – so there’s that. But, many of the others are blond with boobs, too. I think she stirs up gossip about the other girls. I don’t see her in the picture for too long.


And the winner is:
I’m going out on a limb to pick the final three girls.





Finalist No. 1; Tenley, 25, from Newberg, OR. When I first saw Tenley at the start of the show, I cringed at her little chipmunk voice. Apparently, that voice helped her in musical theater as Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella and Ariel. Corny as it sounds; she grew on me as the episode continued. Tenley received the First Impression rose, which means she made a big impression on Jake. I definitely see a fairytale ending for these two, the prince’s kiss, the glass slipper and the final rose.




Finalist No. 2; Advertising Account Manager Ali, 25, from Williamstown, MA. Ali’s last boyfriend would sneak out of her room at night – to sneak into bed with her roommate. Bastard! She’s super-smart, super-cute and her ta-tas are real. (I think.) She’s a keeper.





Finalist No. 3; Hair-stylist, 30-year-old Ella, from Lafollette, TN. She’s a southern belle with a 7-year-old son, who wants to be a pilot. She gave Jake a little toy fighter plane. It was her son’s favorite and he wanted Jake to have it. Let’s say it all together now, “Awww.” The cute kid factor and that southern sweetness have already melted Jake’s heart.

Meanwhile, as host Chris Harrison would say…
“Stay tuned, it’s going to be the most shocking season of The Bachelor ever.”

Dahlia Weinstein

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